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An affirming gay Christian (GLBT) site dedicated to ...
"Building (ALL) the Body of Christ in Love!"
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An affirming gay Christian (GLBT) site dedicated to ... "Building (ALL) the Body of Christ in Love!"
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Gay Affirming: Relationships, Families and Marriage (also see Relationships and Families)
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Discusses key issues such as: third person mutually, medical care documents, written demand for arbitration, dispute arising under this agreement, registered domestic partners, invalid shall, attorney for finances, reciprocal beneficiaries, domestic partnership law, legal parentage, second arbitrator, property guardian, house you can afford, civil union law, health care documents, legal parents, joint tenancy property, domestic partnership benefits, alternate beneficiary, stepparent adoptions, one arbitrator, your executor, new birth certificate, second parent, probate avoidance.
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Amazon reader review: Dr. Berzon shares of her experiences both as a professional relationship counselor and as a lesbian, using fact-based scenarios to explore the common struggles, challenges, and temptations gays and lesbians must overcome when forging committed relationships. Topics include such basic relationship themes as communication skills and conflict resolution, and issues unique to gay & lesbian relationships-from "The Gay National Anthem: 'Why Don't We Just Break Up?'" to legal issues surrounding wills, mortgages, and adoption. As you read, be prepared to see yourself and your relationship in Berzon's stories. You'll finish this book with a renewed desire-and practical, effective know-how-to commit yourself to making your love last.
Amazon reader review: I have been in a 'permanent' relationship for 12 years and was/am concerned with the recent shift in my relationship. This book helped me to realize that I am not crazy or alone in some of my thoughts and feelings. It also offered me some constructive tools and techniques in my quest to figure out how to continue this long term relationship rather than bail out!
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Amazon reader review: This is a well-written, informative book. The author is insightful and understanding, at times penetratingly so, often drawing observations from both her personal, extended experience, and from the lives of those she counsels. She has the wisdom of one who has seen many social and cultural shifts over the past decade, and this is well-reflected in her work. No book is a magic bullet; this one inspires, encourages, and lends perspective. Lesbian and Gay relationships are often targets of disruption because usually, nobody wants them to succeed; sometimes not even those who are in them. The author does an excellent job of tempering one's vision and supporting the need for building respectful boundaries in a loving, healthy relationship that nurtures and protects both people. I highly recommend this book; it was well-worth my time, attention, and investment.
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Although this book is specifically aimed at a gay and lesbian audience, there is nothing in it (aside from a few pronoun references) that would preclude heterosexual readership. Psychotherapist Evan agrees with Paul Pearsall, author of Partners in Pleasure (reviewed below): too much unnecessary breaking up is going on. However, in stark contrast to Pearsall, she asserts that there can be no "we" until the "me" gets its act together. The majority of this work instructs readers how to let go of outdated emotional responses and live in the here and now. "Living in the Present," "Be Honest," and "Act Out of Love, Not Fear" are Evan's three rules for making relationships work. She explains that there is One Spirit, of which each of us possesses a little and which connects us to the Universe. Evan also offers exercises for single or dating readers.
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Coauthors Myers (who serves on the board of the National Marriage Project) and Scanzoni (of the Evangelical and Ecumenical Women's Caucus) "take marriage... [and] our Christian faith seriously." Bringing together those two commitments to build a Christian case for gay marriage, they begin by arguing that marriage is good for society: marriage correlates to longevity; boys raised by married parents are less likely to commit crimes; married moms are less prone to depression than single moms and so forth. Why, the authors ask, should these good things be reserved for heterosexuals? They then consider what Scripture has to say about sexual orientation, rehearsing the by now familiar arguments that Jesus has nothing to say about homosexuality, and though the Bible does talk occasionally about homosexual sex, it does not deal with "loving committed homosexual relationships." Myers and Scanzoni's tone is calm, respectful and balanced. For example, though they present some of the latest scientific evidence about the causes of sexual orientation (including a chart of "mental rotation scores by sexual orientation"!), they also freely admit that scientific studies on this issue are still in the early stages, and that even conclusive scientific information "cannot... resolve values questions." With its traditional defense of marriage and its progressive embrace of same-sex relationships, this book cannot be pigeonholed, and that in itself is refreshing.
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Social psychologist David G. Myers has reviewed thousands of recent scientific studies conducted worldwide in search of the key to happiness. With wit and wisdom, he explodes some of the popular myths on the subject and presents specific techniques for finding true joy in living:
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McDaniel corrals a vast amount of information on lesbian coupling in every sense--emotional, legal, and mundane. Citing the experiences of nine representative couples, she covers a large range of issues, each of which she addresses in the appropriate one of her book's nine parts: "Defining Ourselves," "Lesbians and Sex," "Living as Lesbians," "How We Do It" (i.e., becoming couples), "Living Together," "Parenting," "Power Issues," "Uncoupling," and "Going Long Term." In passing, she considers such essential concerns as sexual styles and safe sex; dealing with the closet; setting boundaries and creating rituals as part of bonding; the legalities of making a home and a life together; lovers who don't have sex; lesbian moms; race, class, body image, and disabilities; lesbian divorce; and aging within long-term relationships. Of necessity, McDaniel explores no single issue in great depth, so her guide may best serve as a jumping-off point for further examination, perhaps in the references and resources listed at the end of each major section.
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Originally self-published in 1989, Heather Has Two Mommies became the first title in Alyson's newly formed Alyson Wonderland imprint in 1990. The simple and straightforward story of a little girl named Heather and her two lesbian mothers was created by Newman and illustrator Diana Souza because children's books that reflected a nontraditional family did not exist, but a firestorm of controversy soon ensued. Attacked by the religious right, lambasted by Jesse Helms from the floor of the U.S. Senate, and stolen from library shelves, it was an uphill battle for Heather. Thanks to the overwhelming support of booksellers, librarians, parents, and children, however, Heather Has Two Mommies has sold over 35,000 copies, launched a minor industry in providing books for the children of gay and lesbian parents and, as attested to by a recent New Yorker cartoon, become part of the cultural lexicon.
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Like Graff, my daughter is a lesbian in a committed relationship, and it angers me that she is prohibited from marrying the person she loves. I was delighted to find this book exploring the changing purpose of marriage in the western world from Roman times to the present and read Graff's case that the battle over same-sex marriage is just the next iteration in a centuries-old line of views of what marriage is for.
Graff never claims that her book is a balanced history; she lets readers know right up front that she is gay and that her purpose for doing all the research and writing was to present her argument that same-sex marriage should be legal. Anyone (like an earlier reviewer) who is surprised by that simply wasn't paying attention.
Graff's writing is both informative and lively, with plenty of facts interspersed with anecdotes and human interest. I already agreed with her premise so I didn't need to be persuaded, but she makes her case so well that it's hard to see how anyone could read this book and still believe gay people should be denied the right to marry. Even for those who are already believe that, the book is well worth reading. Now I can back up my assertion that same-sex marriage should be legal with a persuasive argument based on historical fact: What conservatives call "traditional marriage" is actually less than 100 years old, and this is the logical next step in its evolution.
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