Books by author: Betty Berzon (www.gaychurch.org)

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Betty Berzon

Setting Them Straight : You CAN Do Something About Bigotry and Homophobia in Your Life

Amazon reader review: This is an excellent dose of both therapy and guts! Berzon gives effective strategies for handling homophobia and taking back your life. She even goes as far as to psychoanalyze the frame of mind and motivations that lie inside the mind of everyone from your typical homophobe, to your religious fundamentalist, to racist/gay-bashing skinhead. She gives you a sense of empowerment by telling your the stories of what seem to be real gay and lesbian folks and even tells her own.

She even tells how to handle a media confrontation with a bully like James Dobson (something today's gay activists really need). Overall, this is a gem that I will keep and I recommend that anyone serious about the gay rights cause or standing up for what they believe in get a copy of this book, sit down, enjoy it, and pass it on to your friends for a little help in life.

It's more than some cheesy self-help book that makes you feel good and leaves you standing in the cold. Berzon goes as far as to tell you what to do in your daily life to make things better. She tells you how to argue, deconstruct homophobic remarks for the flawed items they are, and how to respond effectively and marvelously. She uses examples of real situations and conversations.

Before I read this book, I thought I have enough confidence to "get by" in a confrontation with homophobia. Now, I know for sure that I'll be the one coming out looking intelligence and knowing that I'm right.

Permanent Partners : Building Gay and Lesbian Relationships That Last

Amazon reader review: Dr. Berzon shares of her experiences both as a professional relationship counselor and as a lesbian, using fact-based scenarios to explore the common struggles, challenges, and temptations gays and lesbians must overcome when forging committed relationships. Topics include such basic relationship themes as communication skills and conflict resolution, and issues unique to gay & lesbian relationships-from "The Gay National Anthem: 'Why Don't We Just Break Up?'" to legal issues surrounding wills, mortgages, and adoption. As you read, be prepared to see yourself and your relationship in Berzon's stories. You'll finish this book with a renewed desire-and practical, effective know-how-to commit yourself to making your love last.

Amazon reader review: I have been in a 'permanent' relationship for 12 years and was/am concerned with the recent shift in my relationship. This book helped me to realize that I am not crazy or alone in some of my thoughts and feelings. It also offered me some constructive tools and techniques in my quest to figure out how to continue this long term relationship rather than bail out!

Queer Blues: The Lesbian and Gay Guide to Overcoming Depression

Amazon reader review: I heartily recommend this book for any gay or lesbian person who is suffering or has suffered from depression--a condition which is not at all rare in our community. The life partner or another loved one of a depressed person will also find a great deal of helpful information. Most of all, I appreciated the fact that this book really is gay specific--it is certainly not just another book on depression with a different cover slapped on the front. The authors are a gay man and a lesbian who work as psychotherapists in San Francisco, and the ways in which aspects of depression can be gay-specific, such as the impact of internal as well as external homophobia, are considered throughout, and always with respect to both men and women.

I found that the sections on negative and homophobic self-talk really resonated with me, because it included some of the very statements I have used to malign myself, and I had never seen that in other books I've read on the subject. The case studies of different gay and lesbian individuals are also a strong point of the book; they cover such a variety of life stages and circumstances that almost any gay or lesbian person will find one or more stories that sound very much like their own. There is a tremendous amount of good information about different kinds of medications that can be used for depression, including an interview the authors conducted with two psychiatrists who are also a gay man and a lesbian. The interview offers much more than just a profile of the meds; it really delves deep into a discussion of approaches to medication and addresses some of the concerns one would have before undergoing treatment.

The book closes with an excellent chapter entitled 'Befriending the Black Dog', a reference to the term Winston Churchill had for his own struggles with the blues. As the topics and perspectives covered in the book are reviewed, it is put to the reader to bring it all together in her own way, and to do so with courage and compassion.

The Intimacy Dance: A Guide to Long-Term Success in Gay and Lesbian Relationships

Amazon reader review: This is a well-written, informative book. The author is insightful and understanding, at times penetratingly so, often drawing observations from both her personal, extended experience, and from the lives of those she counsels. She has the wisdom of one who has seen many social and cultural shifts over the past decade, and this is well-reflected in her work. No book is a magic bullet; this one inspires, encourages, and lends persective. Lesbian and Gay relationships are often targets of disruption because usually, nobody wants them to succeed; sometimes not even those who are in them. The author does an excellent job of tempering one's vision and supporting the need for building respectful boundaries in a loving, healthy relationship that nurtures and protects both people. I highly recommend this book; it was well-worth my time, attention, and investment.

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